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Your nimble fingers gently tugged at the golden blonde locks of your husband's hair. His hair was soft, seeming to melt like silk with contact.

   He sat crosslegged with his back to you while you sat on your knees, taking three locks of his hair and braiding them skillfully.

   Your daughter was in front of him, sweeping away with a makeup brush at his cheeks, the soft bristles dusted heavily with a shockingly pink shade of blush. "Hold still daddy," she mumbled in concentration, her small hand working away to 'beautify' her father.

   "Okay, okay, I'll stay still..." He said in his soft tone of voice, sounding so positively nice even in this uncomfortable situation.

   You wrapped a rubber band around the end of his last braid with a smile. "Alright! I'm done!"

    "So am I!" Your daughter giggled as Matthew shifted to look in the full length mirror to his left.

    His cheeks were so pink that he resembled a porcelain china doll, electric blue eyeshadow reached all the way to the top of his eyebrows, and black eyeliner was caked on thickly in a very racoon-ish manner.

    Suddenly, the front door opened and you all glanced at it to see just who was entering. In came Matthew's older brother Francis, who's eyes were immediately drawn to the Canadian.

    "Ohonhonhonhon," he sauntered up to Matthew, "bonjour, sexy lady. I am Francis Bonnefoy." He took his hand, laying a heavy kiss on his knuckles and quickly working his way up his arm, Matthew squirming uncomfortably.

    "Mama," your daughter clung to you as you attempted to not burst out into laughter, "why is uncle Francis kissing daddy?"

    The Frenchman froze, his lips now placed on Matthew's upper arm. He pulled back and studied your husband's blushing face. "Hi..." Matthew said quietly.

     "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

    Let's just say that Francis now watched more closely who he hit on.
I have no idea....
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:iconhetalovergirl:
hetalovergirl Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2015  New member
Hatsune Miku-04 (Laughs) This is amazing. That end cracked me up. *dies laughing*
Reply
:icongumball97:
Gumball97 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015
Dear god that ending! Perfection!!!
Reply
:iconmaplemagic1245:
MapleMagic1245 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
PURE PERFECTION. I LOVE THIS!
Reply
:iconcrystallynx:
crystallynx Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2015  Student Artist
Lol
Reply
:iconhatetwilitelovekirby:
HATETWILITELOVEKIRBY Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not sure if I'm just high on insomnia or this really that hilarious, but I am seriously dying of laughter right now.
Reply
:iconlarainne01:
larainne01 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2014
I laughed at the title... The story was even better!!
Reply
:icondownshiftplus:
DownShiftPlus Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
LOLZ!! *high-fives My daughter* Your makeup is so good, it made your Papa look like a hot girl!
And Francis?
France: Oui?
GTFO of my house.
Reply
:iconakitokiki:
AkitoKiki Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i almost peed myself i was laughing so hard. Too funny!
Reply
:iconbluekittykat120:
BlueKittyKat120 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I was reading this and was laughing so hard I fell off my chair.....HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
Reply
:iconwayoftheninjaftw:
WayOfTheNinjaFTW Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
xDDD IM DYING.
Reply
:iconimjustakawaiipotatoe:
ImJustAKawaiiPotatoe Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
xD Lol~ I love this~ <33333333
Reply
:iconsweetgeekxd:
sweetgeekXD Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014
Ussuhsfejsksnvsgkakxxbvsyfjvnsbslalqvzmnxhdjs

HOLY TWO SHITS IN A CRAPPER DUDE XDDDDDD
Reply
:iconkawaiibunny4:
kawaiibunny4 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha that was funny
Reply
:iconlizana66:
Lizana66 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*dieing right now* PFHH
Reply
:iconsilent--songbird:
Silent--Songbird Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your stories are so wonderful! Congrats you got watch/stalk! ^^
Reply
:icon0lexdelapp:
0lexdelapp Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I LOVE YOU.
Now I'm just gonna fav this…
And browse your gallery…
And watch you…
And stalk you…
You know I'm not kidding right?
Reply
:iconskitsophraniac:
Skitsophraniac Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014
I'm okay with it all
Reply
:iconnekokitty35:
nekokitty35 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol that reminds me of when my little cousins and I were really bored so we snuck into my brothers room, ( I had a big makeup kit that I got for Christmas.) he's a really heavy sleeper. So I grabbed a red wig from my closet from halloween put it on him and let my cousins do the rest... When we were done he looked like Ariel mixed with chuck Norris... I love my two brats now.. ( their nick names I gave them )
Reply
:iconqueenofspadesx2:
Queenofspadesx2 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014
Oh my 96neko, you are awesome!!!!!! XD
Reply
:iconmiznygma:
MizNygma Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
HAHAHAHA!!! Fruking hilarious!!!!
Reply
:iconphasewalker96:
Phasewalker96 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I-I t-think I'm d-dieing! *is on the floor laughing so hard I'm no longer breathing and my body is shaking violently then eventually dies*
Reply
:iconresidentevilhetalia:
ResidentEvilHetalia Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013  Student General Artist
me and my aunt did this to my uncle Brian, his hair is down to his knees by now...
My aunt Taraa did his hair and i did the makeup (i was like, what, 6?) and his brother, my uncle John walked in (also, im amazing at makeup, he looked like a girl XD) and he said, " Who's the hot chick, she a friend of yours, Taraa?" (hes still single) and i said, "Auntie Taraa, why did uncle Joseph call uncle Brian a hot chick?" then my uncle john (his name is joseph, we call him john) ran screaming curses. my aunt Taraa, uncle Brian, and I were laughing like nuts, although Uncle Brian was creeped out XD
Reply
:iconold-marcie1234:
Old-Marcie1234 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
Hilarious! I love how you made the reader and Canada Mary Sues!
Reply
:iconhetaliapandaluna:
HetaliaPandaLuna Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013
love it! so funny
Reply
:iconhinatathebloom1:
Hinatathebloom1 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
That was halarious XD
Reply
:iconlithiumthewolf989:
LithiumTheWolf989 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is hilarious :'D
Reply
:iconblacknpink1099:
blacknpink1099 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013
LMAO xD
Reply
:iconwhitella09:
Whitella09 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
XD love this!
Reply
:iconnumbuh347:
Numbuh347 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
1. Think of your crush
2. Make a heart with your hands
3. Kiss the heart
4. Put the heart where your real heart is
Tomorrow your crush will ask you out
This will only work if you post this on your favorite article
Reply
:iconsciencewolf:
ScienceWolf Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:rofl: I love the last bit with Francis!!! OMG THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Reply
:iconprincessangst:
PrincessAngst Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Jesus christ, Francis.
Reply
:iconcrazywirdo872:
Crazywirdo872 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Student General Artist
Oh lordie..... This is cracktastic XD
Reply
:icongalacticrainbow:
GalacticRainbow Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
:rofl: :XD: love it
Reply
:iconkikiwolfheart:
KikiWolfHeart Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
FRANCIS. I'm going to STEAL ALL of your CONDEMNS, and EVERY DILDO!
Reply
:iconaskphilippines:
AskPhilippines Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
WHAT IS AIR
Reply
:iconskitsophraniac:
Skitsophraniac Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
have you forgotten how to oxygen?
Reply
:iconone-without-a-name:
One-Without-a-Name Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I like it! C:
Reply
:iconwingsofnyx:
wingsofnyx Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Have you heard of the Aerosmith song "Dude Looks Like a Lady"? That's the first thing I thought of after reading this. Nice job.
Reply
:iconskitsophraniac:
Skitsophraniac Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012
Haha yeah I've heard of it!~ lol, it's what I based this oneshot off of.
Reply
:iconwingsofnyx:
wingsofnyx Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome! Glad I picked up on it! :D
Reply
:iconfrecklelemonade:
FreckleLemonade Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL I think France's soul shrivelled a bit! Oh gosh! xD
Reply
:iconnfgnarutofangirl:
NFGNarutoFanGirl Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Student Writer
:iconlmfao-plz: OMG Love this!
Reply
:iconmikumiku963:
mikumiku963 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
Haha xD

The daughter will be a make up artist!!!
Reply
:iconexsakura-lit:
ExSakura-Lit Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh Francy-pants, what will we do with you?
Reply
:iconphoenix1027:
Phoenix1027 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Student General Artist
Omg! That's so hilarious! And creepy at the same time! Poor Canada, he first had to go through getting "beautified" and then go through Francis flirting with and kissing him...
Reply
:iconkalliat:
kalliat Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey guys I took a snapshot of the scene-

:iconglompsomethingplz::iconcanadawtfplz:
Reply
:iconodddisease:
OddDisease Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
lol
Reply
:iconmissxcocoa:
MissXCocoa Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012
XD POOR FRANCE XD
Reply
:iconreldadark:
ReldaDark Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You killed me. I can't stop giggleing XD <3

LOVE IT <3
Reply
:iconnightmarefeast:
NIGHTMAREFEAST Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012  Student General Artist
XD frace like his bitches with garage door eyeshadow
Reply
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