"(Name), order me some beer." Gilbert commanded, crossing his arms in a childish manner, leaning back into the uncomfortable airplane seats.
"No." You answered flatly, your eyes glued to the game you played on your phone.
"But the awesome me is bored with this unawesome plane," he protested quite loudly, attracting curous and angry glances from other passengers nearby, "you could've at least gotten me a first-class seat so I can be away from all the unawesome people."
You sighed and sent a glare at him from the corner of your eye, "Just be happy I let you have the window seat. If I had it my way, you'd be strapped to the bottom of the plane." A wonderfully safisfying image entered your head of Gil screaming at the top of his lungs like a little girl while he dangled loosely at the end of a lazily tied rope, flying the through air like a scared little bird. You chuckled out loud at the thought, earning a confused look from the Prussian beside you.
He exhaled in irritation in the same way that a spoiled teenage would, "You're so unawesome, (Name)."
"Thank you." You smiled, returning to the game on your phone to keep you busy.
"Um, excuse me," the man on the other side of the aisle said, leaning over towards you a bit, "you're not supposed to have phones out. It's bad for the plane."
"Oh," you exited from the game, about to click the 'off' button, "sorry, I-"
"She can do whatever she wants," Gil interupted, stopping your hand with his, "don't be unawesome to (Name)."
You sighed, pulling your hand out from under his and pushing the off button, "No, it's fine," you sent an apologetic look to the man and slipped the phone into your pocket. It was odd, Gil never cared about what other people said, he never defended you like that.
The Prussian smiled at you, it was his mischevious smile that made other people wonder where he's just been, who he's just killed, "So are you going to get laid in Vegas?" He asked, changing the subject.
You blushed slightly at his question, not believing your own ears, "W-what?"
"Are. You. Going. To. Get. Laid?" He asked again, putting special emphasis on 'laid' like if you didn't know what the word meant, and he thought to put forth the definition correctly he had to yell it loudly so all could hear.
You clamped a hand over his mouth, "Shut up! Don't talk so loudly!" You hissed, glancing at some other passengers, one man was winking and nodding at you like if he knew the answer to Gil's embarassing question.
Gil rolled his red eyes and stuck out his tongue, scraping it against your palm in a big, wet doggy kiss.
You scrunched up your nose in disgust and pulled your hand away, wiping it on Gil's sleeve, hoping that you could acquire some germ-x soon.
"So are you?" The Prussian asked again, his tone now more quiet.
"How can I when I have to take care of your immature ass?" You whispered sharply, crossing your arms with a glare.
"The awesome me promises to be a good boy," he replied, a fake look of innocence on his face, "so did you bring any clothes other than these unawesome baggy grandma attires?"
You scowled, remembering the skimpy red dress Elizaveta forced you to pack. You knew that her efforts to make you into a normal girl were in vain, you'd never be seen out in public in something that could barely pass as a legal article of clothing, "What does it matter?"
"Oh," Gil nodded, "you not going to dress up because Luddy's not around."
You blushed a lovely shade of deep red, "N-no. Ludwig sees me in baggy clothes all the time."
Gilbert smiled, only one side of his mouth lifting into the smile that's charmed so many drunken women, and sometimes men, "Luddy and (Name), sitting in a tree! K. I. S. S. I. N. G! First comes sex, then comes love, then comes a baby in a baby carriage."
You blushed even more, glaring at him, "Did you just say 'first comes sex, then comes love'? Where's the marriage?"
"Marriage is for the unawesome normal people that are too ugly to have a different girl everynight." He explained.
There was only one thing in this world that you and Gil seemed to agree on, and that was the fact that marriage is just another form of suicide.